Noone jumps for joy, perhaps, with Senator's jogging analogy

LABOUR SENATOR Jimmy Harte is still delirious following Donegal’s All-Ireland win.

Here he is contributing to Thursday’s statements in the Seanad on the topic of Smarter Travel. “Smarter travel is important from a health and a tourist point of view. Everyone can walk and jog. Jogging is like sex – you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it. Everyone can jog at some pace.” Whereupon Fine Gael’s Catherine Noone jumped up. “On a point of order!” she cried, as fellow Senators silently pondered Jimmy’s words.

But the acting chair ruled her out of order.

So we’ll never know whether Catherine was going to reprimand Jimmy for lowering the tone or hold forth on the joy of jogging.

Speaking of which, Government backbencher Michelle Mulherin appears to have cornered the market when it comes to talking about sex. Last April, she famously remarked in the Dáil that “fornication” is probably the most likely reason for unwanted pregnancies in Ireland. The ensuing publicity enhanced Michelle’s profile, and as one of four Fine Gael TDs fighting for space in five-seater Mayo, that might not be a bad thing.

We hear Michelle is paying a return visit to RTÉ’s Saturday Night Show tonight, where she will be reviewing a book for presenter Brendan O’Connor. No prizes for guessing the name of the literary opus in question . . . It’s Fifty Shades of Blueshirt. Sorry, Fifty Shades of Grey. A group of Fine Gaelers were discussing the remarkable success of the steamy novel in the Members’ Bar recently. Various opinions were expressed about it. Eventually, as is often the case, somebody turned to the Oracle for the definitive view. “But what’s it all about?” And Michael Noonan drawled, in his best Limerick accent: “He baates her. That’s what it’s about. He baates her.” No need to go out and buy it now.

The country went farming mad this week. At the Fine Gael stand in the Ploughing Championships, Taoiseach Enda Kenny was thrown slightly when a Fine Gael councillor and cattleman from the midlands asked him a searching question. “So what’s the real story with this Róisín Shorthorn?”

Meanwhile, Big Phil brought the text of the Bill to implement the recommendations of the Constituency Convention to Cabinet this week. No joy for Ruairí, who had voiced objections to Phil about changing the name of Dublin South East to Dublin Bay South. But Minister Hogan has said the report’s recommendations will be accepted in full. Hard luck, Ruairí. It’s a pity James Reilly isn’t in environment. He would have tweaked the criteria and bumped Dublin Bay South off the list for you.