Absent Greens a source of worry for FG's Durkan

DÁIL SKETCH:YESTERDAY WAS the last sitting before budget day on next Tuesday. The Government's imminent B-Day landing continued to provide the backdrop to business, but there were other matters which also led to frayed nerves.

The senior ministerial benches contained only Tánaiste Mary Coughlan, who was taking the Order of Business, and Minister for Transport Noel Dempsey.

Yet again, there was neither sight nor sound from the two Green Party Ministers, John Gormley and Eamon Ryan, for the Dáil order of business.

They rarely attend for the order of business these days, although they are expected to be present and in battle mode on Tuesday.

Their absence yesterday intrigued Fine Gael’s Bernard Durkan.

Albert Einstein, he said, was alleged to have carried out an experiment resulting in the disappearance of a battleship.

“Could it have been possible that the Green Party members were carrying out one of those experiments in the privacy of their own homes,” he asked.

“They appear to have been vaporised and to have disappeared completely from vision, and they only come into the House occasionally.”

Alternatively, Durkan added, perhaps they were snuggled in Fianna Fáil’s bosom and had been strangled in the process.

Labour’s Michael D Higgins tried to be helpful. “They have turned into a bicycle,” he said. Party colleague Kathleen Lynch insisted that the Greens were present.

“They are just in camouflage,” she explained.

Shortly afterwards, by coincidence or otherwise, Green Party TD Mary White entered the chamber.

Labour’s Emmet Stagg, meanwhile, accused Noel Dempsey of responding with “a whole lot of waffle” to a question he had recently asked.

“They all do that,” said Fine Gael’s Padraic McCormack with an air of resignation.

Stagg referred to Dempsey’s “usual arrogant and contemptuous” manner.

“Does the deputy want me to explain the answer,” asked Dempsey.

An angry Stagg described the Minister as “an arrogant man”. Stagg’s demeanour suggested that the word following “arrogant” might have been stronger than “man” had he shown less restraint.

Dempsey and Labour’s Tommy Broughan also had heated words about SR Technics, with allegations and accusations of lies.

Then it was back to the budget. Fine Gael’s Tom Sheahan was worried about its implications for his native county.

“We have no chief fire officer in Kerry,” he declared.

“We have 13 blue flag beaches, but, without further recruitment, we will not be able to have lifeguards.”

And so it is on to the Government’s B-Day landing on Tuesday and its quest for a budgetary blue flag status with an electorate at sea in waves of anger, fear and bewilderment.

Government Ministers will this weekend study the techniques used in the Normandy landings of all those decades ago.