Patsey Murphyvisits the Sukhothai Bangkok, in Thailand
'BUT WHERE does one begin with Bangkok?" the English writer FK Exell asked in 1963. "It was a complete mixture of spurious West and inscrutable East. It was dirty. It was clean. It was beautiful. It was ugly. It was ancient. It was modern. It had scented temple flowers and the stench of rotting fish."
It's hard to know what to expect from a metropolis of 12 million people variously called the City of Angels, the Venice of the East and, indeed, the City of Temples and Brothels. But when I arrived at the Sukhothai Bangkok, hot from a beachy island resort where I had been snorkelling only three hours earlier, my flip-flops felt miserably flat and inappropriate as I crossed the sleek parquet-and-marble floor of this world-famous hotel. All around me were Asians impeccably dressed and unfailingly courteous, demure and cosmopolitan all at once.
Its symmetrical colonnades, reflection pools, open-air arcades and courtyard gardens are completely unexpected as you enter the hotel compound off the traffic-clogged South Sathorn Road. Surrounded by towering skyscrapers, it's an ingeniously designed low-rise urban oasis, which is all the more welcome to the weary and wary first-time traveller eager to explore this challenging metropolis of mind-boggling contradictions.
Even the bellhop, in his svelte Thai silk uniform, put me to shame as he led me to a room overlooking the water garden, with fresh lotus flowers on the desk and Chinese plums on the table.
The rooms are luxurious down to every last detail, with furnishings covered in muted shades of silk that make you think twice before sitting down. No sticky fingers here. The bathrooms are the size of normal hotel rooms, with teak floors, big baths, separate toilet and shower enclosures,
Floris toiletries, mirrors galore and a daybed.
I was happy to loll about in the room and just read about the city below; indeed, there is so much to do in the hotel, which has a pool, squash and tennis, a gym, boutiques, three restaurants and a spa, that I could have ignored the city altogether. But the knock- yourself-out guilt of the accidental traveller sent me on the tourist trail, and the concierge helpfully supplied me with a map, itinerary and a card that presumably said "If found, return this eejit to the Sukhothai Hotel".
He summoned a taxi to take me to the Grand Palace. Alas, it was the anniversary of the death of a member of the royal family, or something, and it was closed for the afternoon. I made the fatal mistake, then, of getting into a tuk-tuk to go to Wat Pho.
Every tourist should know by now never to get on a tuk-tuk. This invariably involves an unwanted detour to several tailors and diamond dealers, not to mention the terror of driving around on top of a can of petrol, wondering when exactly you are going to be robbed, and reeking of gasoline for hours afterwards.
Eventually the Temple of the Reclining Buddha hove into view and, with it, the feeling of divine happiness that comes with getting off a tuk-tuk alive.
I soon committed another classic faux pas and attempted to board a crowded river bus at rush hour. This is an acquired skill. Picture this: Gormless tourist with one foot on boat, one foot on land. Green soup that is the Chao Phraya River in between. Gap widens. People grinning. Flustered tourist flailing. Eeeeeeeek! An arm yanks me aboard, with not a second to spare. More divine happiness.
Of course the river cruise was more than worth the mortification. By then I was getting the measure of the place, enthralled by the jumble of canals and temples, royal shrines, slums, markets and skyscrapers.
I had a pricey cocktail at the Bamboo Bar, in the Oriental Hotel, whooshed around the fabulous Jim Thompson House and then took the SkyTrain monorail back to the Sukhotahi. Bangkok is said to have three climates - hot, hot and damn, it's hot - and I'd had quite enough. I made straight for the pool.
Dinner in the hotel's Celadon restaurant is recommended in all the guidebooks; it is housed in a traditional sala, surrounded by lotus ponds, and is elegant and good value. It offers wonderful taster menus of up to eight courses of Thai classics.
Next morning I had an exceptional treatment called the Thailand Flower Ritual in the hotel's new Spa Botanica, which involved a preparation of local herbs and flowers being rubbed into my skin, which I then rinsed off in a flower-filled tub, followed by a deep-pressure dry massage. Kap koon kah!
The service at the Sukhothai is outstanding, including transfer to and from the airport, which is worth arranging beforehand. For all the facilities, it is no more expensive than an Irish hotel.
If your sons and daughters are "gapping" or backpacking there, maybe you deserve an experience of Thailand, too, or you might treat them to a dinner at the Celadon or to brunch in the Colonnade. Just tell them not to wear flip-flops.
Where
13/3 South Sothorn Road, Bangkok, Thailand,
00-66-2-3448888,
www.sukhothai.com.
Rooms
210, including 104 superior rooms and a suites.
Best rate
Classic Resorts (01-8745000,
www.classicresorts.ie)
offers five nights' B&B from €1,350pps (plus taxes) until
October, including return Etihad flights.
Restaurants and bar
Thai and seafood in the Celadon (eight-course taster
menu €30); all-day buffet in the Colonnade, Italian in La
Scala; coffee and treats in Thimian; cocktails in the Zuk Bar.
Facilities
Spa, outdoor pool, squash and tennis, gym, ballroom,
garden courtyard. Golf packages organised.
Child-friendliness:
Rooms upholstered with silk . . . but cots,
babysitting and children's hampers are available on request.