A day in with the boys, and an encounter with 'Omar Sharif'

RADIO REVIEW:IS IT possible that Morning Ireland(RTÉ Radio One, weekdays) is finally ready to cast off its black mantilla and come out of mourning for the Irish economy? Waking up to this programme has been a bit like turning over on the pillow only to find the Bride of Frankenstein lying next to you, complaining about another draconian measure rumoured to be in next month's budget.

Could there be a glimmer of optimism between the hours of 7am and 9am on weekday mornings? After all, last week the euro zone limped out of recession with 0.4 per cent growth during the third quarter. Morning Irelandfell head over heels for the recession before it had officially begun, but it has been cautious about kissing it farewell just yet.

Perhaps, wisely so.

On Monday, business correspondent Christopher McKevitt wondered, “How much longer will the gloom continue? What’s the most optimistic we can afford to be?” he asked Davy Research chief economist Rossa White, “What’s the danger that Ireland will be the last euro zone country to pull out of recession? Is that a likely scenario?”

White replied, “We could well be.” Oh, dear.

McKevitt saw the epic nature in the national yearning for an economic recovery. “Is it going to be a 1980s struggle to move on?” he asked. White said it should be quicker than that. In fact, he sees a return to moderate growth in the first quarter of next year. This may be of small comfort, but I advise you to take the crumbs of good news wherever you can find them.

Tom Dunne, pictured, (Newstalk 106-108, weekdays) was deadly serious about International Men's Day. In one of his spirited will-o'-the-wisp monologues, Dunne declared, "If you're a female listener, come back Friday. It's a men's zone on Thursday." That kind of humour could hit a nerve with at least half his listeners, and might even be frowned upon by the advertising department too.

“Tom, you are being annoyingly sexist,” one female texter wrote. “You should be a little more careful.” He was undeterred: “Thursday will be like a gathering of blokes in a shed, and to be honest it’s not a place for a woman.” Dunne is always going on about garden sheds. While he’s on the subject of tools, somebody hand him a wrench to take the foot out of his mouth.

On Tuesday's Liveline(RTÉ Radio One, weekdays) it sounded like there were apparitions. "You say he looked like Omar Sharif?" Joe Duffy asked. "Yes, an Omar Sharif lookalike who came to me in the car park in Ikea about two weeks ago," Margaret said.

“An Omar Sharif lookalike suddenly appeared in front of me with a road map and asked me if I could help him.” Turns out, he had an accomplice who took her Laser card out of her bag while she was distracted. They eventually stole €1,000. (They’d been watching her earlier as she punched in her number.)

He wanted directions to Galway and “Londonderry”. “When he said Londonderry, I suddenly got a bit windy and said this fellow was having me on,” Margaret said. She described one of the thieves as “a small, very dark-skinned non-national.” She was the victim of what appears to be a not uncommon scam, and I sympathise with her. But I find the hypersensitive, de-charged use of “non-national” worse than “legal alien”.

Kay also had her Laser and credit card stolen from her bag outside Tesco in Maynooth in the same scam. She used the same pin number for both. (There was a short, sharp silence from Duffy following that revelation.) The thieves took €10,000 in total.

Petra in Mullingar had €3,000 taken from her card. “By the mercy of God that night I couldn’t sleep,” she said. When she checked her bank account online, there were 17 rogue transactions. Duffy asked if the man who asked her for directions looked like Omar Sharif. “Funnily enough,” she said, “I’ve met Omar Sharif and I didn’t think my guy looked anything like him.”

Others, meanwhile, are fearful they'll be robbed on Dec 9th. On Wednesday's Morning Irelandit was business as usual when reporter Conor Hunt said, "By all accounts it will be the harshest Budget in a generation." Presenter Richard Downes went even further than that. "It's really likely to be the toughest in living memory." So don't expect them to tone down their laments just yet.